6165 ~ Conflict in the workplace

rainbow

This week our topic of discussion is a time we had a conflict at work, or with a significant other.  The story I chose begins with a story very similar to our scenarios in our assignment.

I had a child placed in my classroom, we will call him Steven.  Steven’s mother was a yoga teacher, I had assumed because she did that, she was full of zen, peace, and allowing her light and love to spray all over the world, like liquid sunshine.  Upon the first home visit, I was excited, as being a yogi, I believed we would hit off with a great connection.  I quickly learned that there were some behavior issues with Steven, biting, lying, fighting, and swearing.  I discussed some of this with mom and wondered if she was seeing this anywhere else, maybe the park, or with cousins.  Mom denied and seemed shocked when I shared this kind of behavior he was displaying.

Fast forward, I found some in-classroom techniques that helped him, I felt as if we had made huge strides.  Not getting support from the parents, only blame that he wasn’t feeling welcome in the classroom, or he didn’t like one of the other boys in the classroom.  I was always feeling like they were blaming others for HIS actions.  I had noticed that upon pick up and drop off, Steven was extremely physical with mom.  I would intervene and mom was always quick to ignore him.  She would show up after school with treats and on days she didn’t bring them, he would physically hurt her, and kick, roll on the floor, and come completely obstinant.

While on a field trip, Steven took the liberty to use the bus ride to push his limits with mom, this time he was hanging over the bus seat and reaching into another mothers’ purse.  Steven’s mother said nothing.  The other mother said him to stop, and Steven’s mother went off on her, telling her it’s not appropriate to talk to her son.  Steven’s mother was mad and took her anger out of our high school student, swearing at her for not returning a text, calling her irresponsible.  (This went on during our bus ride to our field trip).  Upon arrival of our destination I tried to smooth things over, telling Steven and his mom, that I could get them tickets for another section of the show if they would like, she said NO.  So they got a ride home from the city, and never saw the show.

The next day, I get a phone call from Steven’s father.  He tells me that everyone on the bus needs an anti-bully class and that he would like to gather all of the parents from the bus and talk to them.  At this point, I knew I needed to alert my principal.  As it turned out, there was a previous confrontation between Steven’s mom and the lady he went purse diving with.  As it turned out, we transferred Steven to another campus, for the piece of mind of his parents, he was getting a fresh start.

Fast forward to the last day of school.  I am working in my classroom and heard some bad words being screamed from out on the playground.  It was Steven, in childcare.  He was yelling at the childcare teachers.  About an hour later I hear someone in the hallway kicking lockers.  I peek out the window of my classroom door, yep, it was Steven kicking them while the childcare lady was obviously explaining some behavior issues Steven had been displaying that day.

I happened to be in the office when Steven and his mom were leaving.  She said to me, in front of the secretary, I was the worse teacher they had ever encountered, and switching schools had been the best for Steven, she went on to tell me I needed more education and should be advocating for children more.  I listened to everything she said, and responded with an apology for her feeling that way.  She left and came back.  Steven came over to me and said, “I wanted to see that show and you said no.”  As my son was walking in, he heard what was happening.  I didn’t respond to her, I just listened.  After she left for the second time my son explained to me that he saw Steven’s mom outside coaching him to come and cry to the teacher.

Now I think about week 5 and what we learned.  I used the NVC with her.  Yes, the 3 R’s took place during the year, both with the child and the family, but sometimes there is no way to make everyone happy.

SO my question for everyone is… Steven and my own children will attend the same elementary school.  What do I do if she tries confronting me again?