It was Tuesday morning, September 23rd 2008. I had been having contractions since 4 am. It was now 8:30 am and they were getting so bad, it was time to go to the hospital. When I got there I was already dilated to a 6. They took me back, hooked me up with an IV and I was placed in a bed. The pain was getting out of hand by about 9:30. The anesthesiologist came in and did his thing. But the pain never left.
Finally after hard laboring for a while, it was about 2:30 pm and I was ready to push. My mother on one leg and the nurse on the other. I looked into the mirror at the end of the bed and that was my motivation to push. I saw just the tiniest little spot of a hairy head and as I sunk my teeth into the railing of the bed, there I laid there being watched by about 15 student doctors. The pain was so bad I began swearing and yelling telling the poor students that if they couldn’t do anything to help me, they needed to get out of the room. The ripping of my body was so painful, I began scared to push him out. My mother begged for me to have an episiotomy but the nurse claimed it was too late. I was stretching just as I should be. Thinking back now I wish I would have kicked her in the face. Finally at 2:43 and after only about 8 pushed I pushed him out. I don’t remember much after that but my mother tells me that it took the doctor about 45 minutes to stitch me back up. No pain relief. I was not ready for the pain.
Considering this was my 2nd birth, the first one I labored for 19 hours and pushed 4 times. I am pretty sure that the next time I have a baby I want to do it in Denmark. As I read about the birth there, it is a much more natural experience. They look at hospitalization as a last resort. You do have a doctor but really the midwife does the delivering and they have hot towels, offer massages, changing positions, and even acupuncture to alleviate the pain. Sounds like a dream birthing experience considering the trauma I experienced. Also after the birth you can choose to go to the maternity ward, or a birth hotel. Sounds like a vacation. They also support breast feeding 100%. My boys never tasted formula. 23 and 17 months they nursed, neither ever taking a bottle, once.
The effect I believe the birthing experience has on has a lot to do with the experience the mother has during birth. There are many factors that relate to the mothers health. I personally never experienced postpartum depression. But have heard stories how it turned moms into sad women unable to care for their children. Personally in my relationship my husband at the time thought I had postpartum depression, I went to a group for women that also had it. The leader of the group diagnosed me with having an @$$%*!# for a husband and sent me home. PTSD, stress , exhaustion, and sleep deprivation are also among the top symptoms of after childbirth. Luckily I haven’t experienced any of those but in comparison I do believe that Denmark is very supportive of the natural childbirth and use doctors and hospitals as emergency basis only.
Deirdre
Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for sharing your child birthing experiences. It seems as if we have some things in common by having two different experiences with each of our two children. I am also fortunate to not have experienced most of the issues you mentioned that some women go through after childbirth. I did go through a period of sleep deprivation, but I think it was more so because of the anxiety of having my first child. I would find myself sitting there watching him as he slept just to make sure I could see his chest go up and down to check for breathing. People would tell me that my son was such a good baby because he slept most of the time and hardly made a peep, except when he wanted to be fed or changed.
I am starting to realize from this week’s studies that women from many countries, such as Denmark like you mentions and Holland, as I found, do not rely as much on hospital births and prefer the comforts of home. I think I am more conformed to the westernized way of life and like the security of having a hospital birth, although the perks of home births are tempting.
Amanda McFadden
I agree that the long term affects truly lie with the mother. I remember feeling so lonely, and sad, and as if everything in my world was falling apart every time I left the NICU without my son. I would see other moms leave their babies and appear just fine, which then made me feel like I was failing. According to Postpartum Support International, 9% of mothers that experience a traumatic birthing experience, will have a slight form of PTSD. I can relate to that entirely, I completely teared up just writing about my birth experience.
Danielle Thompson
Hi Jenn,
This story requires popcorn, I love it! I have never experienced a natural birth and if I have another child, it would have to be another c-section. I am sorry that you endured so much pain and I laughed hard at the “I wish I would have kicked her in the face.” I think that it is nice to hear others experiences. With my pregnancies, I loss both of my parents. I thought that I would suffer from depression, but the babies were so important to me that I didn’t want to become that mom. Your story was great!
Danielle